Uhhhhhh. Four fucking hours! That’s how long this movie is, and you feel it the whole excruciating time. In fact, the movie is so long they have to have an intermission in order to change reels. So in a way it’s like watching a movie around the time of the Civil War (I know, movies weren’t invented yet). Now, this length thing would not even have been an issue if the film were any good (see Lord of the Rings or Titanic for examples of great films that just happen to be rather long). Of course, if you are a big fan of the old South, then you might actually like this prequel to Gettysburg, otherwise you will loathe this film that seems to focus way too much on the ‘God’ portion of the title and not enough on the ‘General’ part. Also like Gettysburg, this is based on a novel by Jeff Shaara.

As to the story, President-elect Lincoln is about to be sworn into office when various southern states begin to succeed from the Union so that they can keep slavery intact (I do not give a shit about the revisionist’s argument of state’s rights) in the face of a victory by the abolitionist Republican Party. Lincoln had not even been sworn in when the South started seizing Federal military posts. The film starts here with the people of Virginia arguing over succession and how it effects the lives of several important generals who would help shape the fighting on the Southern side. First is Mr. Robert E. Lee (Robert Duvall, John Q) who is asked by Lincoln’s men to head the Union army, but he declines as his heart is with his home state of Virginia. Second is Mr. Jackson, the head of the Virginia Military Institute, a devout Christian who loves to quote scripture, and who will later become known as Stonewall Jackson (Stephen Lang, Fire Down Below). Jackson also seems to be the focal point of director and screenwriter Ronald F. Maxwell. The other main character is Maine Lt. Col. Joshua Lawrence Chamberlain (Jeff Daniels, The Hours), a professor that realizes he must fight against the South because the United States cannot be truly the home of the brave when people are kept as slaves. Anyway, the story is much like what you probably learned in school about the Civil War up to the Battle of Gettysburg, with most of the focus on Jackson, including an episode where he befriends a young girl, plus all the time he spends with his loving wife. Regardless of historical facts, the film seems to focus on how just the South was, and how the Union was evil and that God must be on the side of the Rebels. Battles are fought, battles are lost, people die, kin battle kin, and friendships are made all in the name of war. Again, uhhhhhhh.

It’s not so much the length of Gods and Generals that makes it unbearable, it is that it is so blatantly pro-South and so skewed against the Union and frankly common sense. I swear that the film tries to make the point that God must be on the side of the Confederacy, which leaves me wondering then, how did the North win? Either God fucked up, or God went with the side that was just. Just my opinion on the matter.

The moviemaking was fine, but there were a lot of scenes that could have been edited down a bit to make the overall length of the movie significantly shorter. The battle scenes looked authentic (except when you see the soldiers shoot high so they don’t hurt each other), which was the only thing decent about the film. Other things that annoyed me: Ted Turner’s cameo; and eloquent, off-the-cuff speeches by people (especially housewives and slaves) who I doubt could even write that well. Overall, not I picture that I liked, thus only two couches out of ten.

Last updated: Thursday, March 20, 2008 02:46:28 AM

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