My position on movies that are based on video games still stands. For the most part, they suck. Resident Evil, staring Milla Jovovich (Zoolander) as secret agent Janus Prospero alias Marsha Thompson alias Alice is included in that category. My question(s): what were they thinking, or even better, why?  I am a little shocked though. The only video game/movie I have enjoyed so far was Mortal Kombat, which was directed by Paul Anderson III, whom coincidently wrote and directed this joke. Any hey, they left the ending open for a potential sequel.

We are in an underground laboratory where blue and green swiveled vials are being loaded into a case. As the culprit exits the room, one of the vials is tossed into the lab and it shatters. Cut to all those Umbrella employee’s heading to their prospective work stations. All of a sudden the elevators stop and become sealed shut, rooms lock shut. Some fill with deadly gas and the lab that contained the vials fills with water. The super computer “Red Queen” (Michaela Dicker) has gone berserk and killed all the employees. Cut to Jovovich lying naked and bruised in a shower. Next thing we know a militant group appears and they seem to know the confused Jovovich. They burst into the house and capture her and a cop and haul them into a train under the house, which leads into the underground Umbrella Corporation laboratory. This is where we learn who all these people are, what their purpose is and what happened to all those people. Yes, they are dead, but they are also zombies. The only goal of a zombie is to feed on flesh. Will they escape, will they do what they set out to do, and do we care?

Not only is this a ridiculous storyline, who in their right mind would work and live underground by choice. What is the benefit to that? Also did I mention predictable? And when a zombie feeds, since when does it make their dinner another zombie? You’re their meal, not a new host for a zombie virus. This film was hard to follow, stupid and not very imaginative. Also in Resident Evil was Michelle Rodriguez (The Fast and the Furious), Eric Mabius (Cruel Intentions), James Purefoy (A Knights Tale), Colun Salmon (The World is not Enough), and Marisol Nichols (Bowfinger). The zombie dogs were almost kewl, so I give Resident Evil a three on the About-Movies.com scale.

Last updated: Thursday, March 20, 2008 02:48:36 AM

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