You like dragons? Do you believe in dragons? Personally, I neither like nor believe in the mythical creatures (except the Komodo dragon, which is a dragon only in name). Granted, we find new species all the time, but I just don’t think we could have missed a large fire-breathing creature. I think Puff the Magic Dragon is as close as you are going to get to the real thing.

As to Reign of Fire (as Beavis & Butthead would say, “uh, fire’s cool, huh huh”), it is a movie and there are lots of dragons. The first dragon spotted is found by tunnelers working on a construction project in present day London. These poor Brits unearth a cave with a big old dragon inside that then escapes and comes out of the ground to start breeding like a mofo. Soon the dragons employ the scorched earth policy that England was so fancy of using on the Irish, only the dragons make it world-wide. Most of the animals and plants are wiped out after about a decade, but some patches survive here and there, and some human enclaves cling to survival. One such group of people are led by a man named Quinn (Christian Bale, Captain Corelli's Mandolin), who was there the day the first dragon appeared. Then one day when these folks think they may be the only humans left alive, a military convoy shows up at their compound, though those inside are not sure if they are military folks or just raiders. It turns out that they are military people and that they are led by the SOB Denton Van Zan (Matthew McConaughey, Frailty), and they call themselves the Kentucky Irregulars (I don’t think this is a reference to Metamucil, but you never know). The important thing about this group is that they say they are dragon slayers, and they soon prove it using their helicopter that is piloted by the sexy Alex (Izabella Scorupco, Vertical Limit) to kill a dragon. This is all well and good, but Van Zan  says they need to go to London to kill the first dragon, who he believes is the only male, but Quinn doesn’t want his people going with the Kentucky folks, and he personally doesn’t want to go back to the place where he lost his mother. Throw in some dragon attacks, a father-son type relationship, internal dissention, and some flirting, and then you have the whole story.

Directing this flight of fancy is Rob Bowman, who last directed The X Files movie. Writing the story was Kevin Peterka and Gregg Chabot. A few others in the film are Scott Moutter, Alexander Siddig, Gerard Butler (Dracula 2000), David Kennedy, Alice Krige, Malcolm Douglas, Doug Cockle, Rory Keenan, Ned Dennehy, Terence Maynard, Chris Kelly, Ben Thornton, and Randall Carlton.

I think Bale and McConaughey do well with their characters, plus the special effects are decent. But I just found the story to be stupid and unbelievable (this is after granting creative license and letting them have their dragons). I just cannot believe that some group, and only this group, could start beating the dragons, nor do I think these dragons could defeat a modern air force with laser guided missiles. The whole story to Reign of Fire is a big pile of stinky crap. That said, I give the movie three couches out of ten.

Last updated: Thursday, March 20, 2008 02:47:54 AM

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