If you are looking for a vampire movie, then I suggest you pass on Queen of the Damned, based on the Anne Rice Vampire Chronicles, because it was more like a two hour rock concert with the same volume of a rock concert than it was a vampire flick. Well, maybe more like a MTV video instead. Oh sure there was blood sucking and magical powers, but no real action. It was all about Lestat (Stuart Townsend) becoming a rock star. Then just like a Rice novel, too much explaining and not enough action. This movie had the highest body count of any movie I’ve ever seen, but big deal, we never saw Queen Akasha (Aaliyah) kill any of those people. In fact, the mother of all vampires seemed to enjoy making other vampires explode into balls of flames rather than sucking the blood of mortals.

Unlike trilogies, Queen of the Damned does not begin where Interview with a Vampire left off. Instead, Lestat is waking up from a century of sleep to rejoin the world. His first order of business is to convert a wannabe rock group so he can become a superstar. His boldness by outing himself, a vampire faux pas, challenges all the other vampires to come out and get him. In fact, he makes this challenge easy, his one and only rock concert is in Death Valley. Now screenwriter Scott Abbott takes his queue from Rice, and needs to really explain why Lestat needs to do all this. The explanation takes us back hundreds of years when Lestat was just the young son of a nobleman and the vampire Marius (Vincent Perez) chose him. Yeah, another ancient vampire and according to this film possibly the oldest in existence now. While Lestat was learning how to be a vampire, his violin music almost wakes Akasha, the mother of all vampires. This leads to just another explanation as to why she is a stone figure locked away, but before Lestat can do anymore damage, Marius abandons him and he is left to fend for himself. Back in the 21^st century where Lestat again wakes Akasha with his music, and you would think all Hell would break loose, but director Michael Rymer is very tame with his storyline. Then to add insult to an already lame plot, they make this a stupid love story too. Who the hell wants to see romance in vampire movies, ripe her neck out, bleed her dry, and kill her already. If you are looking for cool vampire tricks, special effects that mean something, blood, guts, and suspense, rent any other vampire movie, say Dracula 2000 or Vampire$. If you need a long MTV video then hey, Queen of the Damned is your film. Needless to say I was disappointed. Not only did this movie miss the mark for horror, but no booty shots either. Also appearing in this picture was Marguerite Moreau, Paul McGann, Lena Olin (Chocolat), Christian Manon (Mission Impossible II), Claudia Black (Pitch Black), Bruce Spence (Dark City) and Tiriel Mora (Crocodile Dundee in LA). I give this film four couches because the late Aaliyah made a beautiful queen with killer flat abs.

Last updated: Thursday, March 20, 2008 02:47:57 AM

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