“I’m gonna be a master of disguises, I’m gonna be a master of disguises.” Well actually no, Dana Carvey (Little Nicky) you used to be a master of disguise and mimic, now you are just a hack, a dork and a has been. The Master of Disguise starring the aging SNL genius Carvey as Pistachio Disguisey from all outward appearances could have been funny, and should have been funny, after all, with Carvey pulling the gags it should have been funny. Not, at all. The Turtle from the trailer was as good as it got. In fact with so much emphasis on that silly disguise it got old quick. It looked as though Carvey struggled to put together a few mimics of other people’s comedy and showcase them in short segments like a SNL bit, forgetting that they all were part of a bigger picture hmmmm say like a movie. In fact he needed to resort to flatulence humor to get the children to laugh. Now what child is not going to laugh at a fart gag? The comedy was stale and obvious he was trying way to hard to be funny. The writing, which was done by Carvey, lacked a real plot nor did it even try to tie his bits together to form somewhat of a resemblance to a plot, and the direction by Perry Andelin Blake seemed to be lacking there too.

What was passing for a plot had potential, it just got lost in the pathetic gags. Carvey who looks almost fifty was playing a young waiter in his father’s (James Brolin of Traffic) Italian restaurant. When one night his pop and mother (Edie McClurg of Van Wilder) were abducted. His grandfather (Harold Gould of Patch Adams) shows up to tell the boy, and I use this word loosely, that his father used to be a master of disguise and it is a family trait once used for good. And, he has this trait too. Which explains the underwear gag on his head he did throughout his whole life. That is if you choose to believe in this crap. So during his disguise training which consisted of playing dress up and slap fighting a robot while chanting “who’s your daddy” he is interviewing assistants. They settle on Jennifer (Jennifer Esposito of Don’t Say a Word) even though she is tush challenged. Okay, she has a small ass and Disguisey men like big butts just like mama. She discovers ridiculous clues leading to the kidnapper, Devlin Bowman (Brent Spinner of Star Trek: Insurrection) which explains the reason Carvey is trying to get into the Turtle Club and doesn’t even know what the club is. All these clues are only more reasons for Carvey to put on costumes and act silly. Turns out Bowman was incarcerated 20 years ago by Carvey’s father while dressing as Bo Derek and now he is forcing him to use his disguise powers to steal all the great treasures of the world to auction off on and underground E-Bay.

This film was the longest hour and 11 minutes of my life, and all I can say is thank gawd it wasn’t any longer than that. What a shame this SNL alumni could not write and star in a successful gig like buddy Mike Meyers, but if you are not funny any longer you can’t force it without gas. Also appearing in this movie with cameos spots were Bo Derek, Jesse Ventura and Paula Abdul. Since I am actually forced to rate this complete waste of my time I will have to give it a one, unfortunately there is not a lower rating for it really deserves one.

Last updated: Thursday, March 20, 2008 02:48:29 AM

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