Jonah: A Veggie Tales Movie

Movie Title: Jonah: A Veggie Tales Movie	[Ads/google-ads3.htm]
Official Website (it might still work): Jonah: A Veggie Tales Movie
Rating (out of 10): 2
Reviewed By: Michael Stevens
Buy the: Video/DVD \| Soundtrack
The Review:

There are three things I really hate when it comes to movies. The first of those hates is musicals, because they are just not natural. Next are children's films, which frankly bore me with kiddie humor that just is not funny once you’ve reach adolescence. And finally, I don't like religion in my movies because I can go to church if I want to learn about it; and it normally makes for an exclusionary performance since often only one religious point of view is covered. Those are my three big beefs, and Jonah: A Veggie Tales Movie just happens to combine all three, so as one might guess, I was not looking forward to this film.

The story, which uses characters from an apparently popular video series (Josh and the Big Wall, Esther, the Girl Who Became Queen, The Toy That Saved Christmas), begins with a van full of vegetables driving down the road to a Twippo, while concert singing annoying songs. Soon the group crashes the van and airbags deploy from an old VW van that shouldn't have airbags. The only civilization they see is a rundown, creepy looking seafood joint on the river, so they head there looking to get a tow truck. Once there, the group continues to bicker over who's fault everything is and they are basically being asses to one another. Well, then the Pirates Who Do Nothing show up and teach the kids about mercy and compassion through the Biblical story about the Prophet Jonah. At this point, insert your recollections of the story and add songs and cheesy humor, and then you can pretty much get what the rest of the movie was like.

The film was written, directed, and most of the voices done by the tag team duo of Phil Vischer and Mike Nawrocki. A few others lending voices are Tim Hodge, Lisa Vischer, Dan Anderson, Jim Poole, Ron Smith, Shelby Vischer, and Kristin Blegen.

I will give the movie credit for trying to teach morals, and that cheesy humor might work well with kids. But I am not four years old (though I do act that age sometimes), so I definitely did not enjoy myself at the theater. As I have said before, be like Toy Story 2 or Shrek or Monsters, Inc. and add humor for the adults to keep them interested. Finally, for the rating it gets just two couches out of ten.