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It looks like the cheesy slasher movie is back; well at least in the film Valentine. Valentine directed by Jamie Blanks is so typical 70's slasher you can figure out the villain very early on in the movie. The flip comments made by the victims when they were in junior high gives away how they will eventually meet their end also lending to the predictability of movie. So is you like cheesy slashers that are as predictable as they come, you will enjoy Valentine. For those of you looking for gore, well back in the 70's they were far more graphic than this so you people will be disappointed. Now for the plot or what is supposed to represent a plot. In junior high school, "pervert" this awkward boy tries to ask all the pretty girls to dance at the Valentines Day dance. They are all very snotty to him, Paige (Denise Richards, The World is Not Enough), Lily (Jessica Cauffiel, Road Trip) and Shelly (Katherine Heigl, Bride of Chucky) then the only girl that turned him down graciously was Kate (Marley Shelton, Sugar & Spice) never the less she did turn him down. Rejected he turned to the lonely fat girl; Dorothy (Jessica Capshaw, The Love Letter) and she agreed to make out with him behind the bleachers. When some bratty boys discovered them she lied and said he attacked her. A fight broke out and "pervert" was sent away to a troubled boys school. Revenge of course festered all these years. This Valentines Day he would get his revenge and so he sent vicious Valentine poems to these girls and they just blew it off. You knew the order these girls would die, you could guess how and you could guess who and how it would end. This movie was unoriginal, and trite. The only entertainment value was a lot of people died horrible deaths. Oh and it was kind of cool that those bitchy girls got theirs. As for the About-Movies rating I give Valentine a four out of 10 couches. Roses are Red, Violets are blue the sequel will go straight to video too. Last updated: Thursday, March 20, 2008 02:49:06 AM |