Don’t you just hate when the trailer is scary than the actual film. There is no jumping in your seat, no gasps and no covering of the eyes because 13 Ghosts falls short of even being clever or creative. The writers Robb White and Neal Stevens even fall short of making the simplest of details plausible. The beginning for example would not happen in any world. A convoy of trucks would not be allowed to barge through fences, abduct people and summon ghosts. There are laws and people who uphold those laws. As to the house there are building codes, this house would not be allowed to have been built and if it had there certainly would have been a great deal of press on it. Then that lawyer that brought Arthur (Tony Shalhoub from The Siege & Spy Kids) and his family to uncle Cyrus’s (F. Murray Abraham, Finding Forrester) house, that storyline was poorly executed also. Now that we have seen a few basic writing flaws, the plot was pitiful too.

As said a convoy of trucks smash through a junkyard gate to summon a killer ghost. The psychic or sensitive Rafkin (Matthew Lillard) appears cowardly and shaken by this whole affair and argues with Cyrus who organized the whole debacle. The two that appear to have been brought there against their will or not were Bobby (Alec Roberts of Traffic) he casts spells on ghosts, whatever and Kalina (Embeth Davidtz, Bridget Jones's Diary) she frees them. While trying to capture this evil and strong ghost as it turns out was the 12^th ghost, takes out a crew of men, Cyrus and Bobby. Then the whole story shifts to Shalhoub’s family. We go back in time when he was happy with his wife and children, Kathy (Shannon Elizabeth from Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back amongst other films) and Ben (JR Bourne). That lasts all of 10 seconds and we learn Shalhoub’s wife is dead. She died in a house fire. He is broke and living in a small dirty apartment. Cyrus’s lawyer shows up and states that he wished his distant nephew and family should inherit his house. What a house it was. A mansion made of glass. Not any glass mind you, this glass ghosts cannot pass through and to be sure of that, spells are written on the glass. Then there is a room that spins like a dial and this mechanism opens and locks the building. Actually it seals it, but what does it matter that you can’t get in or out of your house on your own free will. This is when the story is supposed to come together. The house is a machine built by the devil, or a recreated machine designed by the devil, and the ghosts power the house. The plan was to acquire the needed ghosts, not just any ghosts, but from the Black Zodiac and then bring in the 13^th and open the Gates of Hell. The one in charge of the ghosts controls hell. Bringing us this story was Rafkin who posed as an employee of the electric company to gain access to the house. He really only wanted the money Cyrus owed him, then mysteriously Kalina shows up stating she needs to free these ghosts. You see ghosts are all around us and not out to do us harm except for those that died a violent death. Those are the ones that want to hurt us and need to be set free. Gag me. Not buying that load of writing crap, good.

Last updated: Saturday, October 28, 2006 05:37:34 PM

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