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Alanis Morisette as God, wearing colorful boxer shorts and flip flops, could there be any better person cast in that role? And yes I always knew if there was a God she would be female. You are probably asking yourself just what movie am I ranting on about? Well it could be, "Dogma" written and directed by Kevin Smith. You might recognize his other works, like "Clerks," "Mallrats," and "Chasing Amy." In this movie we have a little bit of everything. We have two fallen renegade angels. Loki and Bartleby played by Matt Damen and Ben Affleck (both of Good Will Hunting fame). We have the voice of God, Meteron played by Alan Rickman and what a voice it was. We have the savior of the world, Linda Fiorentino as Bethany an abortion clinic worker. In a little bit of irony our savior is infertile. We have Chris Rock as Rufas, the 13th apostle. He claims he was deleted from the Bible because he was black. I think it was more his attitude, you know he would have stolen the spotlight from Jesus. Oh yeah how could I leave out George Carlin as the Catholic Cardinal Glick. Glick is in charge of the WOW campaign to revive the Catholic Church. HHHMMMM what other campaigns have the Catholic Church led in the past that also resulted in mass destruction and death, can we say medieval Europe? Okay back to the cast, we have Salma Hayek as the muse Serendipity. She is a stripper, a role Salma was born for. Then two familiar guys from Smith's movies, Silent Bob and Jay, they are played by Smith and Jason Mewes. These guys show up all over the place, but for this film they have critical roles as the two prophets sent to help Bethany save the world. Now that I have introduced the cast we can move on to the plot. An old man has been beaten almost to death by three teens wearing inline skates and carrying hockey sticks. The old unidentified man is now on life support, cut to the intro of the WOW campaign. The campaign consists of a friendlier Jesus icon and a complete absolution of sin for those that pass through the gates of this church on its dedication ceremony. We now meet Loki and Bartleby the fallen angels wanting back into heaven through this loophole- forgiveness of all their sins. Now cut to Bethany she meets the voice of God, Meteron and is told of her quest to save the world. She needs to go to New Jersey and stop Loki and Bartleby. This loophole would end existence by proving God is wrong. Oh yes she doesn't have to do this alone she has help, the two prophets. Silent Bob and Jay show up. But in exchange for their help they want sex, in fact that is all they are after regardless. Well this group needs a little more help, enter Rufus falling butt naked into the street. Yes finally a cute bum to look at. All is not an easy trek for them, they battle a monster made of poop. Alas they are saved by Serendipity. There is a jab at the Disney Corporation with the worshiping of IDOLS i.e. Mickey Mouse/Sacred Cow. They poke fun of dirty little secrets, adultery, mass murder and destruction of society. When all this is going on at the "Gate" where is God? Here comes Bethany to the rescue. She figures out what happened to God. With the help of Silent Bob they rescue God and save the world. Well as you know if Loki and Bartleby were successful it would have ended the world, and who would have been around to tell this story? I give "Dogma" nine couches out of 10 because of the uniqueness of this story idea and the balls to take on the Catholic Church. Oh yeah and for Silent Bob's only line. Last updated: Thursday, March 20, 2008 02:45:47 AM |
