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Yes kids I'm back with the highlight of your pathetic little lives, the out and about movie review. If you missed last weeks tragedy of a movie, you understand my disdain for the crappy movies. People of the greater Corvallis area, I watch them so you don't have to. I chose, on my own free will to see the sequel to the alien, sci-fi thriller, Species II. In case you were curios I kinda enjoyed the first one. All I gotta say is Natasha Henstridge nude. My girlfriend, Natasha comes back to show you hew breasts for the second one too. Normally this is enough for me to give the movie of the week the ol three thumbs up, but this time even she couldn't save it. Natasha Henstridge. Nude. Yes so you can imagine what a horrid picture it was. Our astronaut friend, goes to Mars, contracts the strange strand of DNA that makes him half alien, and there you have it, he's sleeping with girls left and right to create tons of alien babies. Meanwhile in a lab far far away, doctors have recreated Natasha Henstridge the alien from a cell left over. She is a clone of the first, except she isn't as violent, and her alien powers have been decreased. By amping her power up though, the FBI hopes to track down the male alien. If the two mate, they will have fill strand alien with tons of cool powers. Throughout the movie the fella mates and mates. Each time a better pair of breasts than the one before is exposed, and we almost forget that what took me two lines to explain, took the director two hours to show. That's right friends, once again, no plot, story line, character development, or originality of ideas. Strangely however, I found myself still not noticing these things...when I was staring at Natasha Henstridge. Let's face it, if you had to have an alien touch you in funny places, force you to impregnate it, and then bite your neck off, you'd have to want it to be Natasha Henstridge. If you think I may be saying the name an awful lot, that is because the Case-Man has built a bit of an infatuation with the star of this movie. That's why it hurts me to give it such a pathetic rating. Normally, a movie of this caliber, without the gratuitous sex shots would receive about a two, case in point last weeks dismal review of The Full Monty. I didn't want to see some guys with hairy asses dancing. You bring the ladies from species two in however, and then you have a solid four or five. This movie certainly is not for all audiences. Particularly anyone that isn't a straight male. All others should find the picture offensive and just plain stupid. But my fellas out there, ditch your woman at a First Wives Club, or Waiting to Exhale party, and go check out Species II. But don't do it for me. Do it for Natasha. Here, think of it this way, if this movie makes enough money, there will be a third, and if it follows suit, there will be even more naked women. This until someday, Species 12 becomes a soft core-porn. You see, you gotta have goals. Anyway now for the rating. I gave species two, make it four plastic covered couches, and a hide-a-bed. So tune in next week friends when I get jiggy with it once more. Now back to my hero.
Last updated: Thursday, March 20, 2008 02:45:13 AM |
