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Hmmmm. Signs Case's movie reviews are getting more and more difficult to find time for: Number one; The second show has me already renting a movie instead of going out. But you kids are in for a treat because it was a movie that really sucked. And if there's one thing that we've learned to this point is this: Crappy movie, funny review. Good movie, boring review. So to keep this trend alive I'll try my darndest to give you all that you can handle. Anyway, I rented the British strip movie, The Full Monty. Someone out there is saying 'what a second that's supposed to be funny!' Well supposed to isn't close enough then. This movie was terrible, at no time during the entire picture did I laugh out loud and only once or twice it got a smirk out of me. I've never been crazy for British humor with the exception of Monty Python. Isn't it ironic though that the worthless bores who brought The Full Monty to us tried to suck in the fans of Monty Python by sharing names? You know something, it must of worked. Whoever was tricked into seeing this film should, and I do believe in the state of Montana, has the right to shoot that individual in the brain stem. To let you know, the movie has a group of guys recently unemployed since the still mill went under all looking for jobs with no luck. They get the idea to become strippers, it works, they make money, chicks show up, you get to see their bums, ya ya ya ya. Now you bring in Mariah Carey, Cindy Crawford and a few others and you have a movie. Put together a bunch of fat Brits and you have a disaster. And that was exactly what this movie turned out to be. After seeing The Full Monty I felt like I had been jipped and given an empty monty instead. I was disappointed to spend the three bucks to get it on video and it inspired me to start a gun club. To check I decided to ask some women for their opinion. They weren't impressed by flab and jiggles either. I was disappointed with the performances and the lack of expanding a very funny idea. I wonder what could have happened if it had been done by a better group. It was certainly a sup par movie that was one of the accidental favorites to go into the blockbuster status. In my on going quest to discover people who enjoyed it, please stop me off the street to let me know what I missed, it would be interesting, that and it makes me feel awfully cool to be recognized from the old TV screen. I like to think of myself as, well, a bit of a celebrity, autographs will cost ya a little extra. So in a very special presentation of this week's score of The Full Monty I'll show off some of those Chippendale's male stripper moves, Mike, some music please (soft music starts, starts dancing with #2 taped to buttocks). Doh, no not that song (change to Shaft theme song). Alright, wooooh. Right, ya. Alright let try that old pimp stuff. Get those VCRs rollin. So once again, the final score for The Full Monty is a pathetic two couches out of ten, and to confirm kids, that's the lowest movie I've ever reviewed. So if you do see it, get the barf bags ready.
Last updated: Thursday, March 20, 2008 02:49:24 AM |