Movie Title: Just Married

Movie Title: Just Married
Rating: 3
Reviewed By: Michael Stevens

Review:

How do you ruin a perfectly good relationship? Get married! Or at least that is the premise behind this Shawn Levy (Big Fat Liar) directed film starring That ‘70s Show star Ashton Kutcher and the up-and-coming Brittany Murphy. Of course my question would be, how do you ruin a perfectly good acting career Brittany? Stop taking good roles for a big paycheck to do stupid comedies! Let’s hope that Miss Murphy won’t repeat this little episode and end up like Molly Ringwald. Enough said.

In this film, the young couple of Tom Leezak (Kutcher, Dude, Where’s My Car?) and Sarah McNerney (Murphy, 8 Mile) are just getting back from their honeymoon in Europe. You see, things didn’t go to well there, and the two are headed for splitsville when Tom looks back to see where things went wrong. So now we are transported back in time to see where this community college loser that works on late-night radio meets and falls in love with the rich girl from Beverly Hills. We see how Sarah’s dad Mr. McNerney (David Rasche, Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood) doesn’t want his little girl marrying this loser, and how her mom, Pussy (Veronica Cartwright), doesn’t seem to have a clue. We also learn that Mr. McNerney wanted his little girl to marry the boring and stuck-up Peter Prentis (Christian Kane, Life or Something Like It). But Tom and Sarah get married anyway and head off on their honeymoon that starts in France. From the very beginning of this honeymoon everything that could possibly go wrong, goes wrong. Soon the two are at each other’s throats, hating each other and wanting out of the marriage, which they have yet to consummate. Once in Italy things reach a crossroads as old Pete shows up to try and get his girl back, but Tom chases him off with a fire poker. And that’s really about all there is to this picture.

A few others of note in the film are David Moscow, Monet Mazur, Thad Luckinbill, Taran Killam, Toshi Toda, Valeria, Jill Parker-Jones, Alex Thomas, and Raymond J. Barry (Training Day) as Tom’s father. The person responsible for writing this stupid film is Sam Harper.

On the bright side, Just Married could have been much, much worse. I did enjoy looking at Brittany Murphy’s breasts, but I must say that her face just kind of creeps me out (I think it has to do with all the eyeliner she wears). This film does have some laughs, and some of them are good ones, but most of those laughs are stupid humor. Plus hardly any of the material is new (it would be interesting to count how many movies there are that have a poor guy marry into a rich family with a father-in-law that doesn’t approve). For the most part I was entertained by the film, but I can’t say that I enjoyed myself. Therefore, Just Married receives three couches out of ten.

Bu bye.